How many times do we look around and place blame on others for our own situations? As someone who did this for (far!) too long, I understand it. It’s easy to do. And we feel better! I know I always did. I could just complain and justify and reason away all my anger and frustration and you know what that got me? Nothing. Nothing but more anger and frustration. In short, it didn’t solve the problem.
Being responsible every day isn’t a way of looking in the mirror and saying “It’s my fault that my life is like this.” It isn’t beating yourself up and putting yourself down. It’s recognizing that you have immense personal power to make choices, even when those choices are hard and you feel as though you have no choice to make.
Being responsible every day is both a choice and an opportunity. I know when I started down the road of taking full responsibility for myself – especially professionally – it brought up a lot of (not so good) feelings. But in the process of reeling through all kinds of emotions like resignation, acceptance, gratefulness – and yes more frustration, I was also met with a sense of satisfaction because I was making conscious deliberate choices around my present and my future. I knew I’d make decisions others didn’t like, didn’t understand, and didn’t agree with. I knew I might lose friends. I knew my decisions might move me temporarily away from stability and security but ultimately toward more happiness, more authenticity, and more fulfillment in the long run.
So when I’m struggling – and some days it’s a BIG struggle – I have to remind myself that I’m the one who decides how I respond to situations, I’m the one – and only one – who is responsible for my choices, and in order to live with integrity, I’m the one who has to make sometimes painful and difficult choices. And I make those choices. And little by little the choices have become less painful; what I thought was a burden has slowly become a gift, one I continue to simultaneously unwrap and create each and every day.
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
– Jim Rohn